At times we get so caught up in the pain, the hurt and the wondering “why” that we start to lose ourselves again. We have lost ourselves once by being taken over, controlled and often verbally and emotionally abused for never being enough, never being that 10x, never being where the grass is green enough or in my case being told out marriage was great just not great enough anymore. Being compared to a Volkswagen and being told I’m cute, reliable, dependable and everyone loves you but now that I have driven and Ferrari how could I even be happy with just a Volkswagen again? When the one you loved, worked for and sacrificed things for to create that “happily ever after” life with hurts you at that core level you never imagined. It can destroy you. For a time, I did feel destroyed, my entire life was crumbling around me and there was nothing I could do because honestly, I tried everything I could think of to stop it and “fix” it. However there comes a time you realize you can’t fix other people’s broken. What you can do though is fix your own. You have the choice to live and thrive or just continue to survive.
So how do you stop feeling destroyed? How do you start to thrive? The first step is get over feeling sorry for yourself, get over feeling destroyed, get over playing the victim and start to see your life as a fresh start to create the life you want. Yes, this is much easier said than done but it is not until you decide to do it that can you start to thrive again. Happiness starts with you, in you! No one will make you happy, nothing will make you happy until you first decide you want to be happy again. Until you stop reliving all the what, why and how of the past. You will most likely never get the answers you are looking for and you cannot change what happen all you can do is make changes for the better “you”. Once you start this process your life will not perfect tomorrow but your mind set, your thoughts, your actions and your word choices will all start to change and that heaviness in your heart will start to lighten and that sparkle in your yes will start to shine again.
That is when you will start to live and thrive in life again. For some of you this change will be much harder than for others, but everyone can do it! You have to take that first step and be happy with and for yourself again. It was hard for me at first too because I kept trying to go through everything that happen in my marriage and find the answers to my questions. What I had to learn is there is no answer that will make “it” better or make me feel better or make me happy. The only thing that will make it better will be you wanting and choosing to give up the need to find the answer and to stop reliving it and start to envision your future and the new chapter in your life story. You are the author, you have control, you no longer let the “ex” write your story, you take control and write your own and make it your amazing story. Stop living for the past and the future you thought was going to happen and start living and looking for the happiness, fun, adventure, love and excitement in the one you are sole owner of. Once you start this processed you start to become unstoppable in whatever future you want to create. If you were waiting for a sign or permission to start living for you and stop living for them – this is it. Start to be happy again!!
Live, Laugh. Love Your Life (again)!