As I am sitting here writing my very first blog post ever and trying not to freak out about doing so, it is truly amazing how much my life, my path and my dreams have changed in 10 years. Today was supposed to by my 10 year wedding anniversary and thanks to Facebook it reminded me about it, but the picture it brings up is one of the last pictures I have of me and my dad looking truly happy and proud. I can’t take that picture down and it reminds me of all I learned from him and all I have learned about my true self over the last 10 years.
You maybe wonder why did I title my blog “From Diamonds – To Disaster – To DAZZLE” and the reason is that in the last 10 years that describes my life. I am not even close to be where I thought I would be 10 years ago today and I have gone through things I never thought I would have to. Going through them though has shaped me into who I am today and who I continue to strive to be tomorrow, 5 years from now and 10 years and 50 years from now. You also maybe wonder why in the hell am I even writing this blog and who in the hell will read it because honestly I am thinking that to myself as I write this. The reason I am writing this is mainly just for me and seeing on paper all that I have been challenged with and all I have overcome to start to create the next epic chapter in my life and the life I want for myself and my sons. I also hope that along the way some others may read this too and be helped by my experiences and see that they are not alone even when you often feel like you are and that there is no one that understands how you are feeling or dealing with.
So this blog will look back over the 10 years when I thought I had found and married the man of my dreams, was about to start the amazing life he painted and spelled out for us so beautifully. For while it was just that but then the truth emerged. What I found out is that the man I thought I had married and the man I actually did were not the same. I also learned that the women I thought I was 10 years ago when I got married is not who I am today and I am grateful for that. I am grateful for all I have yet to become in all areas of life and I look forward to discovering.
This blog will be about the love and hurt, the pain. sorrow and joy, the growth and the self discovery that comes from divorce. Half of first marriages end in it (and 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages) yet it still feel like it is taboo to talk about it and that you are alone going through it. I have an amazing family and amazing friends who were by my side yet I still felt alone through a lot of this journey. I am extremely grateful for them and for the new people who have come into my life and shown me how amazingly strong I really am. This is me embracing my darkest moments being married to and divorcing a narcissist and rising from them. This is my way of writing the end of the final chapter from the last 10 years that I survived through and starting to write the new book that is yet ahead of me, the new life I will thrive in! This is not a “victim” blog this is a blog to show how when your world falls apart and so do you, you can rise from the ashes and create a new life just as the Phoenix. “She fell, She crashed, She broke, She cried, She crawled, She hurt, She surrendered, And then… She Rose Again!” Anonymous. Cheers to the new book ahead! Live, Laugh, Love Your Life! Jodi